It's another animated movie with Patrick Wartburton! Wartburton, AKA Kronk, AKA Joe Swanson, AKA Brock Samson, is as good a reason as any to see a movie. But this movie delivers on other levels, as well!
It's funny, yet clean enough to watch with the family. It's got characters you pretty much all know, without resorting to a rehash of old fairy tales or a straight-up irreverent spoof of their Disney equivalents (Shrek).
It's a quality children's movie, that manages to avoid fart jokes for an entire 80 minutes, and still remain cool enough to watch in the pad of some frat boy on a weekend.
I realize that this review gives no synopsis of the movie whatsoever, so if you want an idea of what it's like, check out the trailer on Apple's Page. This movie receives the Duff Seal of Approval.
2006-05-04
Movie Review: Ultraviolet
Yes, I saw this movie.
It was directed by Kurt Wimmer, director of Equilibrium (one of my favorite movies)! It stars Milla Jovovich, who did a pretty good job playing an action-heroine in the Resident Evil movies. The trailers made it look good! Action and guns and swords and stuff... I was ready to pay $2 to see this one.
I really don't know what to say about the movie overall. There wasn't much dialogue, which is a plus, since the only lines were flat, worthless, and worse than predictable (I would have predicted less cheesy lines).
There were two basic fight scenes - in the first, a small army rushes in and surrounds her. She spins around somehow with a sword, and they all fall over dead at once. In the second, they run at her one at a time, and she slashes 'em down.
Either way, half the movie is taken up with those same two fight scenes played over and over again on mildly different sets.
Let's see, bad dialogue, bad fight scenes... those were really the defining points of this movie. It's hard to say too much about the acting, since the actors weren't really given much to work with, but they didn't appear to make much of an effort anyway.
There were some bad CG effects... shaky camera work... all those scenes where the picture was blurred to make up for a lack of effort in shooting... yeah, don't even get close to this one. If you ever feel tempted to check it out, go watch Equilibrium instead. There's a quality film.
It was directed by Kurt Wimmer, director of Equilibrium (one of my favorite movies)! It stars Milla Jovovich, who did a pretty good job playing an action-heroine in the Resident Evil movies. The trailers made it look good! Action and guns and swords and stuff... I was ready to pay $2 to see this one.
I really don't know what to say about the movie overall. There wasn't much dialogue, which is a plus, since the only lines were flat, worthless, and worse than predictable (I would have predicted less cheesy lines).
There were two basic fight scenes - in the first, a small army rushes in and surrounds her. She spins around somehow with a sword, and they all fall over dead at once. In the second, they run at her one at a time, and she slashes 'em down.
Either way, half the movie is taken up with those same two fight scenes played over and over again on mildly different sets.
Let's see, bad dialogue, bad fight scenes... those were really the defining points of this movie. It's hard to say too much about the acting, since the actors weren't really given much to work with, but they didn't appear to make much of an effort anyway.
There were some bad CG effects... shaky camera work... all those scenes where the picture was blurred to make up for a lack of effort in shooting... yeah, don't even get close to this one. If you ever feel tempted to check it out, go watch Equilibrium instead. There's a quality film.
I'm still alive?
It's pretty shocking to realize that it's been two and a half months since I last posted here. In my defense, I'd like to say that it only seemed like a week or so.
I'm finally done with classes, so I can concentrate on more important things - like taking classes over the summer, and working.
As the news clips on my home page change daily, there are a few issues that I have cared enough about to mention here.
As an off-and-on South Park watcher, I appreciate the writers' abilities to use satire to comment on current issues. I managed to catch Cartoon Wars Part II on Comedy Central the first day it aired. If you haven't heard anything about it yet, you can click the link, but long story short - Comedy Central censored an animated image of Muhammad giving a salmon covered football to Peter Griffin of Family Guy.
I really don't know what to say about that one - Comedy Central folded. I was disappointed. I could rant a bit about how much other stuff South Park has gotten away with without censorship, but that's not really the point. The cable channels should be able to show what they want to - if people don't like it, they won't watch.
What is disturbing is Comedy Central giving in to terrorist threats, letting them win.
I would recommend that you watch that episode (Cartoon Wars) if you get the opportunity.
Here is a direct link to a Windows Media Video of the unedited clip of Muhammad from Part II. (1.05MB)
I'm finally done with classes, so I can concentrate on more important things - like taking classes over the summer, and working.
As the news clips on my home page change daily, there are a few issues that I have cared enough about to mention here.
As an off-and-on South Park watcher, I appreciate the writers' abilities to use satire to comment on current issues. I managed to catch Cartoon Wars Part II on Comedy Central the first day it aired. If you haven't heard anything about it yet, you can click the link, but long story short - Comedy Central censored an animated image of Muhammad giving a salmon covered football to Peter Griffin of Family Guy.
I really don't know what to say about that one - Comedy Central folded. I was disappointed. I could rant a bit about how much other stuff South Park has gotten away with without censorship, but that's not really the point. The cable channels should be able to show what they want to - if people don't like it, they won't watch.
What is disturbing is Comedy Central giving in to terrorist threats, letting them win.
I would recommend that you watch that episode (Cartoon Wars) if you get the opportunity.
Here is a direct link to a Windows Media Video of the unedited clip of Muhammad from Part II. (1.05MB)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
